Houston Astros

From Fake Baseball Reference
Houston Astros
Astros tequila sunrise.png
Established in 2017
  • Houston Astros (2017-present)
Other Nicknames
Colt 45's
MLR Titles
Paper Cup titles (0) None
American League Pennants (0) None
West Division titles (0) None
Wild card berths (0) None

The Houston Astros are an American professional fake baseball franchise based in Houston, Texas They are in Major League Redditball's American League, and are one of the twelve Inaugural teams in the league. They were created by GM B.S. Bear

2017 season[edit]

The Houston Astros were announced as one of the first franchises of the MLR. In the 2017 Inaugural Draft, the Astros crowdsourced their selection and went with hometown favorite Jasper Orbit with their first pick. GM B.S.Bear was notably absent from the draft room, and rumors swirled over the upcoming viability of the Astros franchise. First day Winners & Losers articles were not favorable of the young upstart team.

In session one vs. the AZ Diamondbacks the Astros lead with grizzled veteran Smoothyl. Smoothyl's start as fakebaseball pitcher was auspicious, he made some noise about destroying the other team, and then promptly disappeared. He announced his retirement in a cryptic message to the commissioner and GM. Once again the viability of the Astros Franchise was called into question.

The Astros finished a strike shortened season 2-5.

2017/18 Roster[edit]

1st 2nd 3rd
Starters Con Copper Willoughby House --

Position Players
Position Starter Secondary Tertiary
Catcher Dog Man Lee De Leon --
First Baseman Dakota Carolina Montana -- --
Second Baseman Jasper Orbit Derek Bongiovanni --
Third Baseman Jimbo Fishy -- --
Shortstop Chester Facto Autumn Halladay --
Left fielder Jacques Blaque Riles McGiles --
Center fielder Buck Cheeks -- --
Right fielder Triston Uzumaki Chris Keebler --
Minor League
Position Name
Pitcher Logan Anderson
Shortstop Jingo Bajingo
Center Fielder Nick Knuckles