Johnny Dickshot

From Fake Baseball Reference
Johnny Dickshot
2017/2018 headshot.
Minnesota Twins- No. 69
Born: February 29, 1998

Loveladies, NJ

Bats/Throws Right/Right
MLR Debut
Session 1 of the 2017 season for the Baltimore Orioles
NABA Statistics (through S1S7)
Win-loss record 0-0
Earned run average 0.00
Strikeouts 00
WHIP 0.00
User Information
Reddit Username /u/numberonedork
Discord ID # #7344

Johnny Dickshot is a right handed strikeout pitcher in the American League for the Minnesota Twins. He previously played on the Baltimore Orioles as a first baseman, but converted prior to the 2017 MLR Expansion Draft, which he opted into.


Johnny was born and raised by his two moms in Huntsville, Alabama. They adopted him through a process know as the the little Johnny foundation which matches potentiality Johnny's up with their new families. The Dickshots were excited to have a son, especially one named Johnny as it made honoring his adopted grandfather Johnny Dickshot that much easier. It was tough growing up in Alabama, he didn't always fit in. Plus with two moms, it was easy to be even more shunned by the community. With the help of Mom's spaghetti Johnny got ready his younger years. It wasn't until high school where he found his gift.

He made the Varsity team in his first year ever playing fake baseball. He was soon leading the District VII all around team. He was later named Mr. FakeBaseball by the Alabama Fake Writers Association. He had found his calling.

Personal Life[edit]

Dickshot is currently single, he does have an adopted brother as well, Whit Bass who currently manages the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.

His moms, Abigail and Janice Dickshot adopted Johnny at the age of 3 years old. He has never known his real mother and father.

2017 Season[edit]

Dickshot was drafted in the 7th round by the Baltimore Orioles having missed out on the first day of drafting he vowed to wow everyone that passed on him. He quickly became a clubhouse favorite. A few games into the season he was named the Captain of the team. He registered his first home run a 3 run bomb against the Atlanta Braves. At the end of the shortened season Dickshot realized his true calling was in pitching and declared himself eligible for the 2017 Expansion Draft. Dickshot featured prominently in the futures game going 4 innings with 4 strikeouts and 0 era. Prior to the Expansion draft Dickshot was awarded the Crystal Cleat. A honor that now resides on the back of his toilet so he can take a gander at it every time he decides to relieve himself.

The 'Ol Draft Day Swap[edit]

Johnny Dickshot was favored to go into the end of the first round. Many mock drafts had him going to the Seattle Mariners and to the San Diego Padres. After numerous discussions with A.J. Preller Johnny had begun to look for an apartment in the San Diego area. The draft started and the shock of the draft happened at pick number 5. The Philadelphia Phillies selected the rights to Johnny Dickshot with the 5th pick in the draft. 1 minute and 30 seconds later a trade happened that shocked the MLR. He was then shipped to Minnesota for Hudson Quin. The trade didn't sit well with a lot of the fans of Minnesota. Dickshot has already tried to help out in the community. He set up a fund to make sure that all the bridges are safe in the metropolis area as the only thing he really knows about the city is that the bridge fell on the highway that one time.

2017-2018 Season[edit]

Dickshot rides again.


Pitching Statistics
2018 0.0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.00 0.00 0.00
Batting Statistics
2017 7 15 13 3 1 0 1 2 3 2 2 0 .231 .333 .538 .369